In the world of music, which is often characterized by unforeseen challenges and competition, resilience plays a crucial role in the personal and professional well-being of professional musicians - and in their success. The development of resilience depends significantly on specific personality traits, social support, and cognitive factors, as illustrated by my grandmother's story.
For me personally, resilience can be summed up in one sentence:
"No misfortune is so great that there isn't also a bit of luck in it."
I have heard this sentence repeatedly since my childhood from my grandmother, who learned it from her own grandmother. My grandmother, Elfriede, grew up in Stettin, in present-day Poland, and regularly visited her grandparents in Misdroy on the Baltic Sea, where they lived. During World War II, my grandmother was relocated with the Kinderlandverschickung and forced into strenuous physical labor for German soldiers. She experienced the end of the war with her family in Misdroy. Despite the advancing Red Army, they initially stayed there. The family was robbed and plundered. "The Russians are just people too," my grandmother said. After their victory, many Russians on their way home assaulted young women. My grandmother and her mother became victims of rape:
"I had unbearable pain and screamed loudly. I was still untouched; I hadn't even been kissed. And then he strangled me, so my tongue was hanging out the whole time. And when he let go of me and ran into the forest, I sat there on a fallen tree trunk, and I couldn't believe it. Everything was so peaceful, like in the deepest peace. The forest, the birds were singing, and the sky was so blue, and the sun was shining so beautifully. And I felt like everything inside me was dead. As if I were just like a shell, and there was nothing left inside." (Elfriede's account in "Kriegskinder," p. 226).
Both Elfriede and her mother were fortunate not to become pregnant or contract any diseases. My grandmother received compassionate care from Russian female doctors and was able to talk about the incident with her own mother. The family's perspective was that no misfortune is so great that there isn't also a bit of luck. Later, violently, Poles took over Elfriede's grandparents' business. The entire family was initially enslaved and eventually fled, like millions of others, in January 1946 on Poland's orders towards the west. The harsh, cold winters of the post-war period did not make it any easier.
The last time I saw my grandmother was in 2019 before she passed away in 2020. For 23 years, she had been recounting stories of war and escape—tales of moldy jam sandwiches, abandoned violins, and back-breaking labor. During my final visit, she spoke about her experience of rape. Even 75 years later, talking about it still weighed on her. She did not deny how severe that experience, among many others, was for her. Yet, she continued to live her life, building a livelihood even when she became a single parent after my grandfather's suicide. Even in her last year in the nursing home, despite significant physical pain and limitations, she radiated optimism and a positive attitude, earning popularity among fellow residents and caregivers alike.
Throughout her life, my grandmother imparted this one piece of advice to me: "Whether we like a situation or not depends not only on the circumstances but also on our attitude, the way we see it. I have chosen to be happy. I make that decision every morning when I wake up. No misfortune is so great that there isn't also a bit of luck in it." I continue to admire this outlook! Whenever I hear or play Russian or Polish music, I think of my grandmother.
The psychology of resilience
My grandmother Elfriede and her grandmother were both prime examples of resilience. Resilience refers to the inner strength that enables us to cope with stress, pressure, setbacks, and life changes. It is the ability to adapt and progress positively in the face of adversity, ultimately leading to a happy and successful life. Research findings indicate that individuals who embody an attitude like my grandmother's can better withstand the most severe mental and physical stress, recover more quickly, and live longer, healthier, more satisfying, and successful lives in the long run.
Fortunately, most people have far fewer challenges and crises to deal with than war children like my grandmother. However, setbacks in career, separations, public failures, or shattered dreams can deeply affect individuals. Resilient people tend to view such challenges as opportunities for personal development. Didn't get the job/assignment? - The next one might turn out to be an even better fit! Failed a course? - It might lead to the realization that pursuing a different education or further training is a better path! Didn't pass an audition? - Perhaps it becomes evident later that orchestral life wasn't the right fit, and a more comfortable environment is found elsewhere! Breakup with a long-term partner? - Independence and an opportunity to develop one's personality independently, finding a partner who fits even better!
Personality traits, social support, and cognitive factors play a role in the development of resilience:
Personality Traits:
Optimism is of particular importance for professional musicians, as they often face uncertainties regarding their career and artistic recognition. An optimistic outlook on challenges can help perceive setbacks as temporary and surmountable. Self-efficacy, flexibility, and (emotional) self-regulation are also crucial personality traits. The belief in having influence over one's career, the ability to adapt to new musical developments, and control over emotional reactions promote musicians' resilience.
Social Support:
A strong social network is invaluable for musicians. Family, colleagues, friends, and mentors provide not only emotional support but also practical assistance and guidance during turbulent times. Shared experiences and a supportive environment contribute to musicians coping better with the challenges of the music industry. The quality of interpersonal relationships also plays a role. Empathy, understanding, and caring create a supportive environment that fosters the development of resilience.
Cognitive Factors:
Musicians need to be not only musically but also mentally flexible. Cognitive factors such as the ability to apply problem-oriented coping strategies, learn from experiences, and take alternative perspectives are crucial. The musician's life is characterized by constant changes. Cognitive flexibility allows for adopting alternative viewpoints and finding new solutions, thereby strengthening resilience.
Positive Psychology - The PERMA-Model
Positive psychology contributes to resilience by promoting positive emotions, personal strengths, and positive social relationships. By learning to cultivate positive emotions, leverage personal strengths, and build supportive social networks, individuals can enhance their resilience to life's stressors.
A resilient individual, for example, might learn to view challenging situations as opportunities for personal growth, cultivate positive emotions, focus on their strengths, and seek social support. In this sense, positive psychology contributes to strengthening the factors that foster resilience.
The PERMA model (Seligman, 2011) defines five central elements of well-being: Positivity, Engagement, Relationships, Meaningfulness, and Accomplishments.
Positivity (P): This aspect refers to the ability to experience and cultivate positive emotions. Consciously perceiving joy, love, and gratitude contributes to building well-being.
Engagement (E): It relates to the ability to immerse oneself in activities that provide a deep sense of fulfillment and joy. Experiencing flow, the state of complete absorption in an activity, is a key element.
Relationships (R): The quality and depth of social connections are another crucial aspect. Strong relationships with family, friends, and the community (including colleagues and competitors) significantly contribute to a fulfilled life.
Meaningfulness (M): The search for meaning and a higher purpose in life is a fundamental human need. Identifying and pursuing personal values and goals play a crucial role here.
Accomplishments (A): Achieving personal goals and overcoming challenges foster a sense of accomplishment and strengthen self-esteem. It is less about "objective" societal achievements, although these can manifest through a resilient attitude.
Taking on Challenges, Seizing Opportunities
I learned from my grandmother to see the positive in all challenges of life. Admittedly, this is not always easy for me, even as a psychologist. However, when facing an acute crisis, reflecting on the past years often helps me: Many great opportunities, experiences, successes, and encounters would not have happened if something else had not gone less well before. Without breaking up with my ex-boyfriend, I probably wouldn't have come to Switzerland for a semester abroad (and later returned here). If I had learned to play the cello as a child, I might not have had many encounters as an adult that I wouldn't want to miss. If some cello teachers hadn't rejected me, I wouldn't have ended up with those who truly care about me. I could continue this list endlessly.
Nevertheless, one can and should consider which challenges to accept. No decision or a postponed decision is also a decision that has consequences. And not every crisis can be overcome with optimism alone. It also takes courage, a willingness to change, and social and possibly professional support.
Meanwhile, crises make me curious: what awaits me behind them?
Wishing you much curiosity, courage, and optimism in 2024! :-)
Sources & further reading
Seligman, M. (2018). PERMA and the building blocks of well-being. The journal of positive psychology, 13(4), 333-335.
Bierhoff, H. W., Rohmann, E., & Frey, D. (2011). Positive Psychologie: Glück, Prosoziales Verhalten, Verzeihen, Solidarität, Bindung, Freundschaft. Sozialpsychologie–Interaktion und Gruppe, 81-105.
Winterberg, Y., & Winterberg, S. (2013). Kriegskinder: Erinnerungen einer Generation. Rotbuch Verlag.
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